Life Lessons I've Learned from my Daughter

I'm a little ashamed to admit that I didn't always like my daughter. Yes, I've always loved her, but we butted heads early on and I was afraid that we would never get along. Big and I are completely alike. He's my rule follower, my type-A personality, my people pleaser. Pea is none of these things, which made it hard for me to parent her. We both shed many tears, especially in her second year, and I was already dreading her teenage years. One day I was talking to a friend about her and how different we were, and my friend told me to never try to put out that spark that she has for life. Yes, she is a strong-willed child, but she is full of life. And I don't know when it happened exactly, but it seemed like one day I woke up and saw just how absolutely AMAZING this little person was. I really started enjoying our time together and discovered that while I was trying to teach her the important things in life, it seemed she was teaching me some equally important lessons.

10 Life Lessons I Learned from my 3-Year-Old

1. Don't be afraid to be in the spotlight. I remember my mom telling me about a time when I was little that I was asked to be a flower girl in a wedding. Apparently I freaked out and said no. And while I don't remember this incident, I can tell you that it completely matches up with my personality. I remember wanting to blend in and stay hidden. I didn't like when people would call me out and sing my praises. Even today, I have a hard time being in the spotlight. Whenever I'm asked to play a clarinet solo at church, for example, I freak out a little on the inside. What if I mess up? What if they don't like it? My daughter, on the other hand, loves being the center of attention. She loves when people cheer, and praise, and have all eyes on her. We recently went to a Mother/Daughter Tea Party and Fashion show, and she got to walk down the "runway" to show off her outfit. And she OWNED that runway. My 3-year-old was spinning in circles and walking with so much confidence all by herself. She even had to wait for 20 minutes before it was her turn, but she never doubted herself or wanted to stay hidden. Pea exuded confidence. 

2. Show your emotions and hug it out when you need to. When I get upset about something, I tend to bottle it up. I usually work out the issues I have with others on my own, which makes it hard to resolve any problems we may have down the road. Pea, on the other hand, will let you know if she's not happy. She will often say, "You hurt my feelings because..." and go on about whatever it is that she's unhappy about. But just as fast as she shows her unhappiness, she will also show forgiveness for the incident. She works it out on the spot and she hugs it out at the end. I'm pretty sure that hugs have the ability to make everything alright again. 

3. Sing loud - even if you can't carry a tune. One trait Pea did get from me was a love of music. Music has always been my happy place, and I'm pretty sure it is hers too. And this girl will sing at the top of her lungs, no matter where we are. She sings in the car, during bath time, and when she's in bed. She sings with so much enthusiasm that you can't help but share in her joy. And let's be honest, when you're having a bad day, singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite song can make everything okay, if only for a moment. 

4. Tell yourself you're beautiful. As women, we can often look at ourselves and see nothing but flaws. My thighs are big; I'm getting wrinkles; my boobs are starting to sag. When my daughter looks at herself, she is always pleased with what she sees. She often tells me, "I'm so beautiful." or "I'm so strong." or "I'm the best girl." How cool is that? To be completely in love with yourself and not be sorry about admitting it. Look at yourself and embrace all the qualities you have. You are amazing and beautiful, just as you are.

5. Talk to strangers. Don't worry, I'm not going against everything we are taught and encouraging my daughter to talk to random people on the streets. But we come in contact with people we don't know every day... from the clerk at the grocery store, to the lady working out beside us at the gym, to the waitress we have at lunch. Have you ever looked at these people and actually seen them? They ask you, "How are you today?" and you respond with, "I'm fine." then go about your day as if they never even existed. My daughter doesn't do this. She sees each person as a person. One of these people will ask her how she is today and she will always respond with something genuine. She tells them about something she learned in school or about what we have been doing that day. It's amazing to see their faces light up as she speaks to them. She has encouraged me to do the same to the strangers we come across every day. You never know who may need that.

6. Just dance. Pea has the dance skills of her mother, which means she has two left feet. But she dances anyway. And she smiles and laughs and enjoys every minute of it. Dancing, like singing, has the healing power to make a bad day a little better. So just dance it out!

7. Be strong. Some women feel like they can't show that they are strong and powerful because it can be seen as intimidating to others. Pea knows she is strong and she only tries to get stronger. Big often asks for her help in opening food or water bottles and she helps like it's no big deal. She likes to help me carry in grocery bags or carry her chocolate milk carton from the fridge to the counter because, "I can do it. I'm strong." How awesome. Learn to do things for yourself and take on your day stronger than you were the day before.

8. Be unique. Like I mentioned before, I've always wanted to blend in with the crowd. I remember wanting to wear the same clothes and shoes as the popular girls in my school wore, and being embarrassed when I would wear something out of the norm. Not Pea. She picks out her own clothes almost every day, and it's always a crazy combination. Kinda like having Wacky Wednesday every day of the week, But I love that she wants to be different than everyone else. I hope she never loses that. 

9. Try new things. This is still something I have to work on. I have a fear of failure, but we will never succeed if we don't try, right? Pea isn't afraid to try anything. I'm pretty sure she looks at every obstacle and tells herself, "Challenge accepted." and goes for it. I don't know if she's ever told me that she's too scared to do something. I can sometimes see some doubt on her face, but she just tries it anyway. And if she doesn't succeed right away, she keeps going until she does. She rarely gets frustrated by her failed efforts, either. So just try. And when you fail, try again. 

10. Find joy in everything. Pea is not one to say she doesn't have enough stuff. She is just as happy playing with a pile of dirt as she is a brand new toy. I love watching her face light up throughout the day over something that the rest of us probably take for granted. Flowers, birds, and block towers are amazing. There is joy to be found all around us. We just need to open up our eyes to see it. 

What are some things that your kiddos have taught you? I'd love to hear it!